Macho, macho men: How Masculinity Is Portrayed In Television

Macho

a word of Spanish and Portuguese origin

- Wikipedia definition of “Macho”

Traditionally, the word 'macho' carried many positive associations. To be 'macho' was to be well-respected, embodying traits such as courage, valor, honor, sincerity, pride, humility and responsibility.

- The Macho Paradox, Jackson Katz

1. having or characterized by qualities considered 'manly', especially when manifested in an assertive, self-conscious, or dominating way.

2. having a strong or exaggerated sense of power or the right to dominate.

3. an assertively virile, dominating, or domineering male.

- Dictionary.com definition of “Macho”

This particular report explores the abundance of male characters, representations of men and of masculinities in TV shows and movies that we watch. These are of course limited to my interests in action, fantasy and science fiction but I consider these genres to be particularly interesting because they have either been associated with progressiveness (science-fiction and fantasy) or been consciously masculine in nature (action).

Let’s start by looking at the trailer for "Captain America, the first Avenger":

It took about 3 seconds for the trailer to show us that Captain America was in fact, not good enough to be counted as a man because he was short and skinny. This scrawny man has to be taught how to become a 'real man'. So, let’s stick him in a machine and VOILA! He emerges as the beloved (and benevolent) Captain America – white, young, able-bodied, muscular and handsome.

Many stories in TV shows and movies revolve around men and are frequently told from male perspectives.

Some stereotypical representations of masculinities often present in TV shows include:

1) Need for control

Walter in Fringe – often talks about the need to control both universes from falling apart

Peter in Fringe – often talks about the need to understand and control “The Machine” which supposedly heralds the end of the world.

Admiral William Adama in BSG – general need to control what is happening on the BSG starship

Picard in Star Trek: The Next Generation (ST:TNG) - general need to control what is happening on the starship Enterprise

Eric Northman in True Blood – he wants to control Sookie and fully regulate the activities of the district of which he is in charge.

2) Need to “protect” women

Bill in True Blood – often talks about “protecting” Sookie from harm

Michael Westen in Burn Notice – often talks about “protecting” Fiona or Madeline, his mother

Logan Echols in Veronica Mars – often talks about wanting to protect Veronica. In Season 3, beats up the maker of Veronica’s sex tape twice in the name of ‘protecting her honor’ despite her disapproval. Riggghtt.

3) Physical prowess characterized by abundant muscles and/or  formidable height (if not formidable, then taller than the rest of the men in the show)

Steve McGarrett in Hawaii Five-O - often displays his physical prowess by refusing to catch criminal suspects in a car, preferring to run on foot and subsequently tackling them to the ground

Steven Bloom in Undercovers – tall, muscular, dark and handsome. What more needs to be said?

Javier Esposito in Castle – muscular and handsome Latino man. Again, nuff’ said.

Kyle Hobbes in V – Framed as the exemplary “soldier” of the war against the Vs. Often displays his muscles by wearing tight black T-shirts.

Cpt. Lee Adama or Apollo in BSG - Often found working out in the gym. In Season 3 when New Caprica is established,  Apollo is shown to be a fat captain of BSG who has been disillusioned by his role. When he finally realizes that he can pitch in to help the escape of New Caprica, he magically loses all his weight and becomes muscular Apollo once again who saves the day.

Lt. Warf in ST:TNG - Tall, muscular Klingon. Tactical officer and head of weaponry aboard the Starship Enterprise D. Considered to be one of the two strongest people on the main bridge. The other is Lt. Commander Data, an android.

Wallace Fennel in Veronica Mars – a superstar basketball player

4) Lack of feeling or general hesitancy and aversion towards any emotion other than anger, vengeance and occasionally, love.

Steven Bloom in Undercovers – Stoic with no feeling most of the time.

Leo Nash in Undercovers -Engages in activities like alcohol, women and drugs to ‘distract’ him from what he really wants and refuses to acknowledge – a settled life with a woman he loves. This is a classic “Playboy” trope in male characters. Usually, it is paired with someone on the show who is the “opposite” i.e. ‘the family” man. In this case, the “family man” is Steven Bloom.

John Casey in Chuck - Hates discussing his feelings and views them as “weak”.

Jayne Cobb in Firefly – Again, hates discussing feelings and sees them as “weak”.

Colonel Saul Tigh in BSG - Often appears stoic in the face of adversity. Or just very very angry.

Picard in ST:TNG - Appears calm and stoic in the face of adversity. Or very angry.

Steve McGareett in Hawaii-Five O – Vengeful, angry man.

5) Favours physical, emotional, psychological or financial violence

Steve McGarrett in Hawaii Five-O – often uses physical violence as a way to capture criminal suspects. Also threatens violence on other people in the name of avenging his father’s death.

Castle in Castle – He has frequently manipulated his way into Kate’s life and recently, manipulated a fellow writer so he would not have to share Kate as a muse

Logan Echols in Veronica Mars – Uses emotional and psychological violence on Veronica several times in the show. Uses physical violence when he wrecks Veronica’s car in Season 1 and beats up suspected sex-tape maker in Season 3.

Tyler Evans in V – constantly emotionally manipulates his mother, Diana.

Eric Northman in True Blood – Allows Sookie to “accidentally” drink his blood and subsequently, stalks her emotionally without her knowledge.

Boyd Langton in Dollhouse - asks Topher to dismember the body of a killed client to hide the evidence.

Chuck Bartowski in Chuck - often tries to use emotional manipulation to get his way with Sarah.

6) Clearly (hetero)sexually viable and attractive as mates  -  e.g. we see them in bed with a woman or as a LT partner to a female character

Chuck  Bartowski in Chuck

Morgan Grimes in Chuck

Tyler Evans in V

Kyle Hobbes in V

Bill in True Blood

Steven Bloom in Undercovers

Castle in Castle

Malcolm in Firefly

Steve McGarrett in Hawaii

Five-O

Leo Nash in Undercovers

Javier Esposito in Castle

Bill in True Blood

Michael Westen in Burn Notice

Cpt. Adama (Apollo) in BSG

Admiral Adama in BSG

Will Riker in ST: TNG

Wallace Fennel in Veronica Mars

7) Get the job done without necessarily having the brains to  figure out how

Steve McGarrett in Hawaii Five-O – often depends on Kono, the Smurfette or Chin Ho for intel and suggestions

John Casey in Chuck - likes to blindly follows Beckman’s orders

Will Riker in Star Trek: TNG – We never see Will contribute intelligent suggestions to the Captain that help solve the situation they are facing in the episodes. Yet he is Number 2 and often sent out on away missions.

Men who deviate from any or all of these representations are often positioned as “lesser men” typically, in comparison to the “real man” on the show.

Tyler Evans in V – Tyler shows too much emotion, explained away by the fact that he is still young and thus, isn’t a “real man” yet. He also has no substantial role in V except as a clueless pawn and eventually, dies at the hand of a fake Lisa after having sex with her unknowingly.

Father Jack Landry vs. Kyle Hobbes  in V- Not sexually viable as a Christian priest, shows too much emotion (he cries and has a conscience towards killing innocent people). He does not have a need for control preferring instead to believe in fate as a result of his religious affliation. He is the shortest of all the men in the primary cast and does not favour violence.

Hoban “Wash” Washburne  vs. Cpt Malcolm Reynolds in Firefly – Married to Zoe Washburne who is shown to “wear the pants in the relationship”. Not very muscular and is quite intelligent in ship’s processing and engineering bits.

Lafayette  in True Blood – Is queer and does not have an aversion to showing feeling for Tara, his cousin, when she is in bad shape.

Topher Brink vs. Boyd Langton in Dollhouse – Uses intellect to get things done. Not muscular and never seen as heterosexually viable. Once, he shows fear and regret after killing another man. Boyd swoops in for the rescue.

Dr. Gauis Baltar vs. Admiral Adama in BSG – Again, uses his brain more than his brawn to get things done.

Bill Hoyt vs. Steven Bloom/Leo Nash in Undercovers  – AGAIN, uses his brain and techno skills to get things done instead of his brawn/ability to seduce women.

Morgan Grimes vs. John Casey in Chuck – Morgan is the short, bumbling best friend to Chuck. He shows way too much care for his best friend and is thus considered weak.

Chuck Bartowski vs. John Casey in Chuck – Shows too much emotion and likes to talk things through instead of just smashing the wall in the hopes of getting rid of the problem.

Kevin Ryan vs. Esposito  in Castle – Is the shorter, more effeminate of the pair. Also, the more intelligent.

Dano vs Steve in Hawaii Five-O – Again, shorter and the one with more feelings in the pair.

Lt Felix Gata in BSG - Again, uses his brain to solve problems, not his brawn.

Lt. Cmdr. Geordi La Forge in ST:TNG – Uses his brain and does not favor violence to solve his problems. He is also rarely seen as sexually viable by women and his closest relationship is to another man, the android Data.

Wallace in Veronica Mars – Doesn’t seem to have much intelligence, just brawn.

I’m sure I missed a couple of characters here and there (plus, I've limited my case studies to the sitcoms I have watched) but I think the point is that men who are not stereotypically masculine are shown as “lesser men” subsequently as lesser human beings and characters. Note that though most of these characters are able to emote and show vulnerabilities in individual situations,  majority of the show and their character depends on their being stereotypically masculine (read: stoic, handsome, muscular, charismatic men who save the situation and the women).

Now, some of you may say “If you look for it, you will find it”. Well, it’s not like I’m looking too hard, most of these factors are on the surface of the show. They are obvious, right in our faces.

It is disheartening to see that men are given such limited roles in TV shows. I want to see shows where men respect one another, despite their differences. Where men respect women as full and complete human beings on their own terms, not on men’s terms. Where it is alright for a man to show sadness, fear, love beyond sex and care for someone other than his girlfriend, his wife or his mother. Where it is okay if they don’t want to “fight it out” and instead, sit down and talk. Where’s it’s okay to be content with fulfilling emotional relationships with other men without being accused of being gay. Where you can be gay and still be considered a man. Where it’s okay for them to be short and fat and still considered manly. Where they do not feel a need to “protect” women but to work with women to find the solution to their mutual problems. Where there is no constant need to control everything in their lives.

Again, I’m not saying it’s not wrong to watch these shows – everyone of us, including myself, need a little escape. But to watch them without critical reception is unwise. Social stereotypes exist EVERYWHERE even when they are packaged in fun boxes labelled 'TV shows and movies for pleasure'. The 'for pleasure' tag might just be the thing that gets us to buy into sexism, racism and other isms that people have to live with everyday outside of the television box.

For change to be really happen, writers and viewers need to look at the characters of men just as much as they need to look at the characters of women. We can’t work towards adequate representations of one gender because that is not enough. We need to start conceptualizing of both women and men as full and complete human beings who are able to feel the whole range of emotions without being accused of being” too emotional”. We need to start looking at women and men as people in their own right.

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Brunei's Traditional Dance Workshop

By Ayeen Jafery.

Last month, there had been a Bruneian traditional dance workshop organized by the Traditional Dance Club (TDC) and Proud to Be Bruneian Club (PTBB). The workshop was taught by six experts ranging from the  Jabatan kokurikulum of Bahagian Kesenian dan Kebudayaan to primary school teachers from various schools. The two experts from the Jabatan kokurikulum are  Hjh Dayang Hj Mohammad and  Hjh Salapah. The remaining four experts are primary school teachers.

The workshop took place on the 4th, 7th, 8th and the 16th of February 2012.

From 4th - 8th February 2012, the workshop was held at the Gallery 2 from 2.15 until 4.30 pm. The club members involved were taught 6 out of 12 dances, 2 dances per day.

4th February  - Adai-adai and Dundang

7th February - Alus Jua Dendang and Aduk-aduk

8th February - Jipin Laila Sembah and Qayyum Oh Ya Qayyum 

On the 16th of February, the TDC and PTBB members were split into six different groups to perfom in front of the judges at the Multi-purpose hall in the afternoon.

The performances from each group were spectacular, although there were few mistakes, it was still a best effort. After all, they were only given a week to practice before the 16th. Before the announcement of three best performing groups, Hjh Dayang Hj Mohammad commented on the respective groups. The comments were concentrated mostly on how they perform the steps. They needed to further practice the moves in order to enhance the dance.

The three best performing groups were :

1) Aduk-aduk

2) Dundang

3) Qayyum Oh Ya Qayyum

In the recent interview, Cikgu Hjh Ainun of PTBB said that this workshop is to expose these young students to the different types of traditional dances. She further explained that apart from exposure, the young generations must also learn the steps of each dance and to become teachers for the next generation so that it would be passed on to generations to come and so that they don't have to rely on the elders. These dances must always be practiced so we do not forgot our traditional cultures. Also, if we ever join any ' Kapal Belia ', we would certainly take part in dancing and show other people from different cultures, our Bruneian culture through dancing. Cikgu Hjh Ainun also advised all the youngs to try everything because this is the time we learn and get to know our Bruneian culture.

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Pump Replacing Human's Heart

An impressive 50 calves and at least 3 human beings have had their natural heart replaced by artificial heart that pumps blood at 10,000RPM (revolution per minute). Heart as we know it, pumps blood in pulse hence the lub-dub sound. With the pump, the heartbeats will sound like a ‘dentist’s drill or the underwater whine of an outboard motor’ instead. That means that, anyone who received the artificial heart will have no pulse because blood will flow continuously instead of moving in pulses and also, a straight line will be shown on a heart rate monitor.

Check out this link if you’re interested.

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What subjects do YOU favour?

By Amir Rabbani.
Credits to Miss Joyce Lee.

Throughout secondary school, students are encouraged to take a wide variety of subjects as their minds are not developed enough to decide and pick several subjects as their main focus for their future. However, as times goes by, most students will find themselve scoring less than average or even failing in certain subjects but excelling at others. This shows what field they favour and it is also one of the determining factors as to what they should focus on further in college. At subjects they excel, they will find themselves paying more attention and being more interested in that class compared to others. Personally, I find myself in this state during Physics and Mathematics and I am going to discuss some factors which made me enjoy studying that field more than any other, starting with Mathematics.

There are numerous ways to solve a complex Mathematics problem; it's not always going to be that one equation. By connecting one of the mathematical principles to another, we can even invent our own equation to solve the problem. It allows us to explore out mathematical mind which makes solving problems interesting. If you master the principles, solving it would just be as easy as pie. That's the magic of Mathematics; something so complicated can be in fact, simple. It's the only subject to only require logical thinking and only use a little memory.

What makes Mathematics interesting is that is takes over your artistic imagination as well. Take a piece of paper and pencil and draw a circle and simply plot points inside the circle. What do you see? 90% of people might think it's a spotted circle but 10% don't. These 10% are mathematicians. You may wonder why Mathematicians see something else. On that paper is just graphite, which is your pencil lead. No circle has ever existed, because everything we consider to exist is made out of a jumbled hodgepodge of atoms far too complicated to be thought of in any sort of manageable way. But the circle, which you created out of absolutely nothing but a spark of imagination, and the points you plotted are the mathematical objects you know about because, quite simply, you made them to be that way.

Myths and beliefs say that we are attached to an invisible elastic band which only react whenever we are on air, that's why we can't fly. Thanks to Sir Isaac Newton, a legendary physics researcher, these beliefs were proved wrong and that it is just the pull of gravity. Physics, also known as the mathematics of science, allows you to view the world from a whole another level; it also allows you to discover secrets behind why people float in space. Thankfully, a lot of myths have been busted by scientific facts which I find to be a relief.

Sir Isaac Newton is not only a physics researcher, he indirectly taught people about life. He issued his three laws of motion with one of them being, "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." This is also can be applied to life. Bad things will happen to you if you do bad things to people and it would be the other way round if you do good things to people.

What's more interesting about physics is that there is still a lot more to discover. For example, everyone should know that our planet is orbiting around the Sun along with the other 9 planets in our universe. Did you know that the Sun is orbiting around something else? That something is yet to be discovered. Physics is infact, beautiful.

Physics has taught me to not be easily convinced by unbelievable stories and myths. Mathematics has taught me that when you have a problem, there are a lot of ways to deal with it. That's why I enjoy stuying both of them more than any other. Personally, through this enjoyment, I find my shortest path to knowledge.

What about you? What're YOUR favourite subjects?

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A Positive Start For PTEK's U-18 Team

By Wadud Yussop.

Today is the day that PTEK's U-18 football team start their U-18 interschool tournament. The competition is a 'knock-out stage' system. So it is a must win for our school team in which we eventually won by 1-0. The game was against Sekolah Menengah Berakas (SMB). 

There was a little problem regarding transport to PTEM where the venue for the match was. There was no bus provided for our team. Luckily, 3 of the PTEK teachers, Sir Zul, Sir Amir and Sir faizal, volunteered to offer their ride. Some students also offered their ride since they were free during the afternoon. We took off from school at about 12.30pm. The match was scheduled to start at 2.00pm. We arrived about 1.15pm and started our warm-up. Thanks to Sheikh Waie, who provided the school football kit. There was a warm reception for Md Aisamuddin by the PTEM students before the game started. This is because he was one of PTEM's student last year before he was transferred to PTEK. After exchanging hand shakes, SMB won the coin toss and started the game. 

SMB quickly got control of the game with nice and quick passes. It was hard for our team to follow their tempo. Nevertheless, the game was not one-sided as both team exchanged attacks. Md Aisamuddin started the game roughly as he made frequent foul towards the opposing team. About 15 minutes into the game, Md  Aisamuddin fouled SMB's right back. The right back's shoulder was injured after the rough physical contact with Md Aisamuddin  and had to be brought to the hospital by ambulance. That didn't stop the quick tempo game as Md Aisamuddin's curled shot was poorly caught by SMB's keeper which gave opportunity for us to score the rebound. After battling in the penalty box, Azizi Roslan nearly scored a goal for us but his header from the rebound was inch wide. SMB also shot us frequent attacks but with the strong back line of PTEK's defenders; Matin Qusyairy, Muien Hamsyari and Khairil Anwar, SMB found it hard to find good opportunity to open the score. Not just the defense, even our goalkeeper, Ron Junior Philip was also in top form when he saved numerous long shots from SMB and stopped the through ball. Near the end of the first half, Wadud Yussop fired a powerful shot towards the net but it was not enough to score as SMB's keeper kept a close look and kicked it to a corner. He was injured after saving that shot, claiming that he injured his ribs. The first half came to an end with a score of 0-0. 

After a 10 minutes break, PTEK started the second half hoping for a better result in this half but still, SMB was playing carefully, not wanting to make any mistakes with their play maker No. 14 and left back being in top form. Unfortunately for them, luck wasn't on their side as they did not have the finishing quality. After a disappointing performance by Wadud Yussop, he was substituted by Ilyaas Hadi who took his spot as a striker. Not long after that, Afifi Ahmad was brought in to replace Khairil. The game became even tense towards the end. After Muadz was introduced to the game, replacing Sheikh Waie, he quickly made an impact after a fine through ball for him from Md Hanif but it was excellently defended by SMB's centreback. Azzizulhilmi was given a yellow card later as he was caught late tackling on SMB's midfielder. He was then quickly substituted by Aiman Hafizan. Just as the game was at its last 10 minutes, Abdul Muadz scored for PTEK as a result of sloppy defending by SMB's defenders. He was then given a yellow card by the referee for celebrating his goal by taking off his shirt. After that first goal, SMB continued to shoot their attacks for a chance to score and equalize the score but never succeeded. The game came to an end with a final score of 1-0 with PTEK in the lead. It was a perfect result for PTEK and a good motivation to keep the players going for their next mach against PTEM that would take place this Wednesday.

Revised by Joanne Lim.

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March!

By Lim Shirley.

Holidays are around the corner and that’s what we, as students are definitely looking forward to. Have you ever got the feeling that when it’s school season, you would always be hoping that holidays will come super-fast so that you can have your sleep, so that you can hang out with friends and give yourself a break from all school stress? But when it comes to the holiday season, you would always be hoping that school would start soon? Well, I think most of us have had that feeling before. When we’re in school/college, there’s homework, assignments given to us almost every day and we are expected to pass it up the following day.

Exams usually end when holidays are about to start so we’re probably glad about that. When holidays are about to end, some of us will go like “YES!” because they probably had nothing to do during the holidays so going to school seems to be a good way to enjoy your teenage life. I think we enjoy going to school  because we have friends to talk to, not that we actually 'enjoy' school and the never-ending assignments.  Usually before the holidays, teachers/lecturers would give their students a present and that present would be HOMEWORK! They sure love us, don’t they? During the holidays, we eat, sleep, watch TV, play games on our computer/laptop/play station and this cycle goes on until the very last day of our holidays and BAM! before you know it, school starts just like that and we have done nothing about the homework we were given for the holiday period. We would all will be thinking “Why does holiday seem to pass by so fast?” and the next thing you know, it's exam season where most of us struggle to study at the very last minute.

Exams aren’t really our best friend. Speaking of exams, there are times where we studied so hard but the outcome is just huge disappointment whereas for others who didn't seem to study that much, get excellent grades. That sometimes frustrates us, doesn't it? Well, like they say study SMART not study HARD. When you receive your exam timetable, start studying little by little instead of cramping everything a day before the exam. That’s a habit most of us seem to have. So drop that habit and start revising early and trust me, when your results come out, you will not regret even one bit of it. Those people who have As’ or A* definitely didn’t just start studying at the very last minute. Well, there are people who study last minute and get good grades. I guess they are the exceptions. Probably they listened well in class when their teachers are teaching or maybe they are just people who learn fast. All of us have different methods when it comes to studying. An example would be how a person can study better when he/she listens to music while studying or walking around while studying. We all need to find out which method fits us best to ensure that we get the best results. So all the best and good luck to those who have exams coming up!

Revised by Joanne Lim.

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Stay Motivated!

By Wafian Wahid

It's not easy to stay motivated to study but we have to be motivated. It's what keeps us going. Whenever I feel like giving up, I take a look at pictures of students in universities and so on. I then look at the prospectus that I've collected from many different exhibitions, I see the requirements, the facilities and more pictures of students in universities. I tend to get jealous but it keeps me going. I need to stay motivated, I want to be motivated. I want to excel.

There are many ways to be motivated. This is because different people have different views of life. It is also alright to be jealous of people who have already succeeded, it's a motivation. You have to beat them and not give up. If he or she can do it, why can't you?

Find your motivation.

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UK Exhibition

By Lim Shirley

I’m guessing that most students would probably choose UK to further their studies. Well, there was a UK Exhibition and seminars in Rizqun Hotel on the 21st Feb 2012 and PTEK, the 22nd Feb 2012. I didn’t go to the one in Rizqun so I would be telling you about the one in PTEK. The seminars were held in both Lecture Theater 1 and 2 which started at 10.45am to 12.45pm. We were told that if we wanted to attend the seminars, we are to register ourselves the day before. I attended the “APPLYING FOR UNDER GRADUATE STUDY IN THE UK.” What Emma Gutteridge, speaker from King’s College London University spoke to us was about the deadline we’re supposed to apply for universities and about our personal statements.

Basically from what I recall, we’re supposed to apply our courses in respective universities of your choice, preferably sometime between October and mid-January. BUT if you were to take medical courses, it’s recommended to apply earlier because you are supposed to take an exam (not sure of what exam). Regarding your personal statements, we are supposed to do that by ourselves because they want an original copy and if you were to copy it off from the internet, they will know it so original are always better. Basically, the personal statement is all about you. Tell them everything about yourself because through your personal statement, only then they know about you since they don’t you in person and through your personal statement, only they will decide whether they accept you in their university.

The first 12 classes in PTEK upper six were to enter the Multi-Purpose Hall (MPH) at 10am and the remaining 12 classes enter the MPH an hour before lunch. The fair ended at 2pm which lasted for 5 hours. The MPH was packed with students of PTEK, going from one university to another to ask about the courses they want to apply too. There were about 33 different universities from UK and each university has at least 1 representative from their university. There were not a lot of pamphlets available when I entered but was satisfied with all the questions I’ve asked therefore glad by the end of the day and I think I’m not the only who enjoyed it.

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Stress?

by Chok Siong Wee & Hedwig Mui Soon Wee

Stressed? This article is for YOU! 

“Sorry, but you’re not qualified to be in this committee” 

“Why can’t you be as good as him” 

“I am going to take away your social life if you don’t start getting more than just a petty ‘D’ in your tests”

Now before you start banging your head against the wall, try to think this thoroughly. You may currently be on the verge of breaking down due to stress and soon to start a battle you’ll never win against a wall. Totally.Not.Worth.It. 

Stress. We've all been there. I know it, he felt it, she hates it and we've all been through it. It’s practically unavoidable! However, we all have a choice to take it or break it and after this article, you ARE going to break it. How? By managing your stress. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, and fun- plus the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on. 

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down: 

•  What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure). 
•  How you felt, both physically and emotionally. 
•  How you acted in response. 
•  What you did to make yourself feel better. 

Not all stress can be avoided and it’s not healthy to avoid a situation that needs to be addressed. You may be surprised, however, by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate. 

• Learn how to say “no” – Know your limits and stick to them. Whether in your personal or professional life, refuse to accept added responsibilities when you’re close to reaching them. Taking on more than you can handle is a surefire recipe for stress. 
• Avoid people who stress you out – If someone consistently causes stress in your life and you can’t turn the relationship around, limit the amount of time you spend with that person or end the relationship entirely. 
• Take control of your environment – If the evening news makes you anxious, turn the TV off. If traffic’s got you tense, take a longer but less-traveled route. If going to the market is an unpleasant chore, do your grocery shopping online.  
• Avoid hot-button topics – If you get upset over religion or politics, cross them off your conversation list. If you repeatedly argue about the same subject with the same people, stop bringing it up or excuse yourself when it’s the topic of discussion.  
• Pare down your to-do list – Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. If you've got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts”. Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely. Last but not least! RELAX! Don’t get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that you forget to take care of your own needs. Nurturing yourself is a necessity, not a luxury.  
• Set aside relaxation time  –  Include rest and relaxation in your daily schedule. Don’t allow other obligations to encroach. This is your time to take a break from all responsibilities and recharge your batteries.  
• Connect with others  – Spend time with positive people who enhance your life. A strong support system will buffer you from the negative effects of stress.  
• Do something you enjoy every day  –  Make time for leisure activities that bring you joy, whether it be stargazing, playing the piano, or working on your bike. 
• Keep your sense of humor  –  This includes the ability to laugh at yourself. The act of laughing helps your body fight stress in a number of ways.

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